A Memorandum to Annie Kuster…

Memo To: US Rep. Annie Kuster (D-NH)

From: “The Middle East”

Subject: Directions, Clarification

We understand that you recently ran into a bit of a snafu regarding the region of the world collectively known as the “Middle East”.  We understand that it can be a little hard to keep track of us these days as you are no doubt a very busy member of Congress and frankly we have a lot going on here.

We also understand that, like a number of Democrats, foreign policy might not be “your thing.”  While we all have some significant differences over ere, we agree on the fact that President Obama seems a tad confused regarding our challenges as well. So it’s completely understandable that you might lose track of a small and relatively insignificant country like Libya, much less a small specific location within that country known as Benghazi.

For your future edification, as far as we know Libya has paid this year’s dues and they are still members in good standing of the Middle East fraternity over here. They are loud, angry and a bit of “hot spot”  as we assume most Americans would remember. Again, no problem forgetting that they are in fact a part of the Middle East-all of this is so complicated.

In any event we just wanted to clear this up. You may want to look a little further into Libya-especially Benghazi, because as you may not be aware there was a terrible tragedy there not long ago in which Al-Qaeda affiliated extremists (who hate America) murdered four Americans in an attack on your embassy. One of those murdered was a United States Ambassador – maybe you haven’t heard.

It’s very strange, but there’s a lot of talk about us over there in your country, especially given the fact that the US has been involved in several wars around here of late and that a number of crazy people here don’t really like the US, have attacked or attempted to attack your country and US interests abroad repeatedly and some have even called for the annihilation of your closest ally, Israel (which, for the record is also considered part of the Middle East).

This whole Benghazi thing could be a real problem for you, Congresswoman, and for your party.  You may want to encourage President Obama and your good friend Hillary Clinton to look a little more deeply at this particular "Middle East"problem as elections are just around the corner.. Just a suggestion, as we realize you have a lot to keep track of and it’s easy for important things like Benghazi and the exact location of the Middle East to slip your mind. No worries.

We know you’ve visited the region before, and we hope you will have a chance to visit us again. Tourism here is not what it once was, so anything you can do to help us boost the number of non-military visitors would be most appreciated.  We hope this advisory is helpful and wish you a happy holiday season and a special note of thanks for keeping us front and center on the world stage-especially now that you have a clearer sense of who we are and more importantly where we are.  Hope Santa brings you Geo-Safari for Christmas.

Respectfully, 

The Middle East

P.S. Speaking of things that could slip your mind, as a courtesy we wanted to remind you that property taxes in your state are due early next year. I know paying taxes has slipped your mind in the past-just hoping you can put a yellow sticky note on your “Ready for Hillary” poster so you don’t forget…again.